Eight random facts for dating my teenage daughter
So Mags at You Forgot Poland! tagged me with a damn meme, "Eight Random Facts About Me." Given that I'm eating lunch at a noisy, busy restaurant in Harvard Square, with lots of nosy people lurking around, I can't think of a better time to divulge eight secrets from the Mike Jones lockbox.
Here goes:
1. The state of Massachusetts still refuses to issue me a driver's license. Apparently there's another Mike Jones from Pennsylvania with a catastrophic driving record. He's not me. But he shares the same birth date and middle initial, which for Massachusetts bureaucratic purposes, is as good as actually being me.
2. Speaking of birth dates, I share a birthday with the critical date in V for Vendetta.
3. Each day I find myself looking more and more like my father, and acting more and more like my mother.
4. I love puns. (e.g. I had a nightmare the other night about a snowstorm in Panama. Yeah, I guess you could say I was dreaming of a white isthmus.)
5. I was thrown out of an amusement park in 4th grade for spitting on an old lady while riding the "sky ride."
6. My penis is eleven inches.
7. OK, it's not. But memes like this are just asking for statements like that.
8. Embarrassingly, I'm actually really good at bowling. I even own shoes.
Oh, the horror of memes. Hope y'all are doing well!
Here goes:
1. The state of Massachusetts still refuses to issue me a driver's license. Apparently there's another Mike Jones from Pennsylvania with a catastrophic driving record. He's not me. But he shares the same birth date and middle initial, which for Massachusetts bureaucratic purposes, is as good as actually being me.
2. Speaking of birth dates, I share a birthday with the critical date in V for Vendetta.
3. Each day I find myself looking more and more like my father, and acting more and more like my mother.
4. I love puns. (e.g. I had a nightmare the other night about a snowstorm in Panama. Yeah, I guess you could say I was dreaming of a white isthmus.)
5. I was thrown out of an amusement park in 4th grade for spitting on an old lady while riding the "sky ride."
6. My penis is eleven inches.
7. OK, it's not. But memes like this are just asking for statements like that.
8. Embarrassingly, I'm actually really good at bowling. I even own shoes.
Oh, the horror of memes. Hope y'all are doing well!
posted by MikeJ at
12:53 PM
3 Comments:
Dreaming of a "white isthmus"?
That's GOT to be your best one yet.
And it's true, you guys: His penis really *is* eleven inches.
By
Mags, at 4:14 PM
Girl, this is exactly how internet rumors get started. I'm just saying...if I become famous someday... :)
By
mjoneschange, at 6:37 PM
Oh, how I needed those laughs. You gotta do this whole eight random facts thing as part of your stand-up. The whole "memes are just asking for statements like that"—brilliant!
By
BroderWriter, at 5:53 PM
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