Survivor - Texas Style

This came to me via an email list I'm on...I actually think this version of Survivor would be infinitely more interesting than the actual version. I'm so tired of watching sweaty people stab stingrays with sticks. Anyway, no offense to anyone in Texas!

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor - Texas Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there, they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth, and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:

I'm gay
I Love the Dixie Chicks
Boycott Beef
I Voted for Al Gore
George Strait Can't Sing
Kerry in '04
Hillary in '08
Support Your Local Mosque
I'm Here to Confiscate Your Guns

The first one who makes it back to Dallas alive, wins.